The Project Gutenberg EBook of Bashfulness Cured, by Anonymous
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
Title: Bashfulness Cured
Ease and Elegance of Manner Quickly Gained
Author: Anonymous
Release Date: September 17, 2013 [EBook #43755]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BASHFULNESS CURED ***
Produced by Paul Clark and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
produced from images generously made available by The
Internet Archive)
Transcriber's Note:
Every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as possible, including inconsistent hyphenation. Some changes have been made. They are listed at the end of the text.
BASHFULNESS CURED:
Ease and Elegance of Manner
QUICKLY GAINED.
NEW YORK:
SETH CONLY, PUBLISHER,
No. 524 Sixth Avenue.
1872.
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1872, by
SETH CONLY.
In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, Washington, D. C.
| Page. | |
| Bashfulness—Diffidence—Definition | 5 |
| Natural Diffidence | 7 |
| Causes and Cure of Natural Diffidence | 20 |
| Bashfulness from lack of Education.—How to Overcome it | 23 |
| Bashfulness from Ignorance of the Ways of Society.—The Cure | 31 |
| Bashfulness from Ill-Dress.—The Cure | 36 |
| Bashfulness Caused by Ill-Health.—To Remove | 42 |
| How to acquire Elegance and Fluency of Expression—Ease and Polish of Manner—a Graceful, Pleasing and Dignified Bearing—a Handsome Well-developed Chest—a Deep, Rich Voice. How to Dress Cheaply and Elegantly—How to be Attractive by certain attentions to Personal Habits. To the Debilitated: what to use to become Strong (new). How to Please greatly by delicate Flattery of Eye and Manner. A Secret of being Popular with the Ladies. How to easily Train, Brighten, and Sharpen the Intellect. To be Well-informed and Well-cultivated | 9-48 |
We do not see why Sidney should have termed diffidence “rustic shame.” Very many nice and proper persons who live in rural parts, and who are exceedingly bashful, are far from being shame-faced. “Excessive or extreme modesty,” Webster defines bashfulness, and this is the better definition, though not literally correct, as many who are rough, impudent and vulgar in the privacy of their own homes, are wretchedly bashful when in company of strangers, or those whom they consider their superiors.
No emotion is more painful than bashfulness. Without feeling guilty, its subject feels crushed. Says one, “I am troubled with a painful sense of timidity and bashfulness in the presence of company on being spoken to, especially at the table; and no matter whether the person be my equal or my in[Pg 6]ferior, I blush from the cravat to the hair, and the very consciousness that I am blushing, and that my embarrassment is discovered, tends to deepen the blush and heighten the embarrassment. Now, I have a good personal appearance; I have a good education; I occupy a good position in society; I have been trusted by my friends with official position, and feel myself competent to fill it, and when I sit down to meditate I feel no cause for embarrassment or bashfulness; I can converse for hours with persons of culture and superior ability, and feel no cause of shame at the part I am enabled to act; still, if then spoken to suddenly or abruptly, this terrible diffidence comes upon me like a spell, and makes me stammer; my head seems splitting with excitement; my face turns red; my heart palpitates, and I am no longer, for the moment, myself. Now all this is very distressing.” Yes, this is distressing, as very many can testify from disagreeable experience.
There are many influences that may directly and indirectly be mentioned as being the
Among them is a certain peculiarity of constitution known as “natural diffidence;” then, bashful[Pg 7]ness from ignorance of the ways of society; lack of education; ill-dress; ill-health; nervousness.
Many persons are constitutionally timid and diffident. They were bashful in childhood, bashful at school, bashful in society, always bashful. In business they are not generally your pushing, go-ahead operators. They shrink from contact with the bustling crowds. They prefer, and will usually be found doing quiet brain work in dim back offices.
Bashful young ladies, to the rightly constituted masculine mind, are rather attractive than otherwise. The timid, retiring manner; the modest, downcast look; the soft blushes—all are particularly engaging, especially to those who have been long in society, and accustomed to the cool self-possession and calm assurance of fashionable ladies.
The genuine diffident girl is not the product of cities. She is not found in the crash of town life, but in the seclusion of quiet country towns.
There is no class of girls in the world so easy to get along with after they get acquainted with you, as bashful ones. And the courting them is an easy and delightful affair; they are so loving and confid[Pg 8]ing; no reserve, no distrust, no coquetting; but frank, open-hearted and generous. Even if you are unsuccessful in your suit they never mortify you in their refusal. It is generally given in so frank and candid a manner as to command your admiration.
Natural Diffidence is the result, as already stated, of certain peculiarities of constitution. There is a want of confidence in one’s self—a shrinking dread of intercourse with strangers, especially those of the opposite sex, and he, or she, can give no reason for this diffident feeling. He may be well educated; of attractive personal appearance, of good conversational abilities, and well dressed, yet from[Pg 9] that strange feeling of natural bashfulness, so well known, yet difficult to describe, he is a timid, shrinking creature, subject to trials of which a self-reliant man has no conception. He blushes and becomes confused if suddenly addressed. His heart beats painfully at the idea of entering a well-lighted room filled with ladies and gentlemen. And this feeling is the result, in a great measure, of his small self-esteem. Your truly diffident person is of extremely sensitive, retiring disposition, and while he is apt to accord to others superiorities they do not possess, he entertains for his own abilities, personal and mental qualities, the most humble opinion. And thus he does himself great injustice and injury. He does not attain that position in society nor that success in professional or business life that he would were he not shackled by his foolish timidity—his deference to others.
A bold, self-confident man, with a mere fraction of a bashful man’s ability and attainments, will invariably distance him in the affairs of life. “Brass” always tells. The world don’t stop to analyze a man for his real merit. It takes him at his own valuation, and if a man puts a low estimate upon himself and goes through life with a hanging head[Pg 10] and blushing face, he has small success, and less pity. The good things of this world—the successes in love, in business, in politics, &c., are invariably won by those who have a good opinion of themselves; who have faith in their special talents and abilities, and who push ahead in accordance with this faith.
There never was a truer saying than that faint heart never won fair lady. While women have a genuine admiration for the truly modest and pure-minded men, they have a genuine contempt for your chicken-hearted, bashful, tongue-tied fellows.
Although a good many screeching females in these Women’s Rights, Advanced Female days can not lay special claims to any superfluous amount of modesty, still the softer sex have not yet lost those endearing qualities of gentleness, modesty, and loving trustfulness in the opposite sex. Since that time when Eve cast her first loving glances towards robust Adam, women’s love and admiration have gone out to bold and gallant men. As she is timid and weak, so the more does she admire the qualities of strength and courage. Man is her natural protector, and she looks up to him and clings to him in love and confidence.
Women are pre-eminently romantic in all that concerns love. Her heroes are those who do brave and perilous deeds; who scorn ease and effeminacy, and who laugh at danger—captains who go down to the sea in ships and sail away over the mysterious ocean to strange, far-away lands—men who with shut jaws, gleaming eyes, and fixed bayonets go digging over fort walls, from which come unceasing flashes of fire and a pitiless rain of death.
(How the officers and men who came home from The War were honored, and almost caressed, especially by the ladies; and what a host of marriages took place among the gallant fellows!)
It has been truly said that no woman really loves who has not discovered some traits in her lover’s character that she considers noble and heroic. It is a glory for a woman to be able to be proud of her lover or husband—of his superior intellect, his dignity and strong manhood and loving care and tenderness, and it is proverbial how a true woman overlooks and endeavors to conceal the faults and weaknesses of her husband. He was her hero at marriage, and though the illusion may have passed, she still bravely tries to maintain it.
It often happens that a bright, superior girl mar[Pg 12]ries a quiet, bashful fellow, in whom her friends do not see anything worth marrying for. But it is certain the girl has discovered under all the young man’s reserve and diffidence, superior traits of character that have secured her attention and love.
This may be illustrated by an incident in which the actors are personally known to the writer.
Frank W—— was a young man of more than common intelligence and strength of character, but he was so obstinately bashful and retiring that his real worth was entirely unappreciated by his acquaintances. He rarely ventured out to parties, &c., and when he did, was entirely eclipsed by all the ready-tongued young men in the room. Now this Frank W—— was irretrievably in love with the most charming young lady in town, Miss Louisa L——, who understood and appreciated W——, and often gave his society marked preference, to the surprise and disgust of the before-mentioned ready-tongued fellows, yet was careful to give no indication by which W—— could hope he had secured her affections. Thus matters went on a couple of years, and W—— was almost in despair, though he had really made more progress than he had imagined. But an accident occurred that[Pg 13] brought matters to an agreeable termination. They were out for a ride, with a spirited horse one autumn afternoon, and in going down a steep hill a rein broke, and the animal dashed forward at a tremendous pace. W—— turned quietly towards Miss L——, and giving her an assuring look, placed a foot on the dasher-board, and with a leap placed himself fairly astride the animal. Leaning forward and seizing the beast by the nostrils he twisted her head suddenly to one side, and brought the whole affair to a stand-still within half-a-dozen rods. Soothing the excited horse by a little gentle stroking, W—— united the rein, and then coolly drove on as if nothing had happened.
“I then and there decided to marry him,” said Miss L——, relating the incident. “I concluded that one who could perform such a daring and dangerous act, and regard it with quiet indifference, was a true and noble man, and one whom I could implicitly trust.” And she was right, for a woman never secured a better or more faithful husband.
A bashful young man who had the appearance of no great amount of spirit, complained to his father of his want of success in winning the esteem of a certain proud young lady. “You can swim,[Pg 14] Sam?” “Yes, sir.” “Well, the next time you go sailing with that girl, manage to dip her into the stream, without letting her suspect you; then rescue her like a man. Or do anything else that will show that you have some life and pluck, and you’ll find she has an improved opinion of you directly.”
And the pith of wisdom is in this bit of paternal advice.
NOT BASHFUL.
Rather than be a bashful, blushing, stuttering booby, it would be much better for a young man to be over-confident and bold. With the latter qualities his chances of success in any direction in life,[Pg 15] would be infinitely better. And it is the stout, true heart that finds favor with the ladies. Women love to be sought, and have attention paid them. It is their nature to be timid, trustful and confiding. They love to rely upon and feel the support of manly strength. Now a timid, bashful fellow does not possess those qualities that women most admire, and to possess them should be a bashful person’s foremost ambition.
The boy who hangs his head and sucks his thumb when spoken to by a stranger, and who is generally to be found moping behind the kitchen fire, looking at a picture book, is not the mother’s favorite. The saucy little chap who sticks his fists into his breeches pocket, and don’t see anything in strangers to fear; who rides the colts bare-back; who don’t like the girls because they can’t climb after bird’s eggs; who sails about the pond on a six foot plank; and is the leader in all kinds of boyish mischief;—this is the brave and fearless boy that fills his mother’s heart with secret pride and joy. “The spunky little cuss,” though coarse and jarring, is far more pleasant to the mother’s ear than “Poor child, he is so sensitive and bashful.”
And again we repeat, women do not admire bash[Pg 16]ful men. While they may pity, a woman secretly despises a man who is really or appears to be afraid of women. A diffident fellow never was nor never will be a favorite with the ladies. It is your easy-going, self-possessed, talking chaps who are the popular ones. This is illustrated in any assemblage of both sexes. Take a party, for instance, early in the evening when matters are a little frigid. The ladies are inclined to congregate in groups by themselves, with shy glances towards the gentlemen, whose inclinations seem to be that of making wall-ornaments of themselves. Presently there will enter the room a fellow who is not quite certain if he understands what the word “bashfulness” means. He goes up to a group of ladies, smiles and bows to all, shakes hands with some, and is in felicity right away, to the envy and admiration of the wall-ornament chaps.
While young ladies are timid and retiring, they dislike the exhibition of these qualities by men. This cannot be better illustrated than by noticing how a young man from the city, with his easy manners, his self-assurance, and ready ways, will go into a country village and “cut out” the fellows right and left, making himself a favorite with the girls in[Pg 17] an amazing short time. And this fellow may be only a shallow-brained fop from some city dry goods store, where he is engaged measuring out ribbons from 8 A. M. till 6 P. M. His education is not worth speaking of; he smokes; he gets drunk making New Year’s calls; he don’t go to church; his moral character will not bear severe inspection, and yet this fellow goes to the country, and even the sensible girls rather admire him, and are well pleased to see him coming up the walk for an evening’s visit. The best of the country beaux have received a good education at the academy; they are clear in head and sound in body, they are able to marry, owning their own business, or soon to do so, and yet the company of a pop-in-jay chap from the city is openly preferred to that of these substantial and worthy country young men. And they do not understand it, though it is plain enough. The city fellow brings with him an air of the great world outside this country village. For years he has read the morning paper as regularly as he has taken his breakfast, therefore he is informed of all the events of the day. He can tell you the present mental condition of Queen Victoria, what the latest news is from Mormondom, or how Prince Jim Jund is progressing with his railroad[Pg 18] enterprise in Africa. He can discuss politics with the father, talk with mother concerning the last General Religious Convention, and with the young ladies fairly effervesces with small talk. And here he has at immense advantage the country young men, whose current literature probably consists of the Weekly County paper, fearfully dry and dull, a city story, or Agricultural paper, and Ayre’s last Almanac. With these only for his mental food, how can a young man make himself entertaining and agreeable with chatty talk on the light topics of the day?
The city chap is brim full of pleasant gossip. He don’t sit cross-legged, twisting his hat and[Pg 19] talking tedious farm-talk to the “old man,” while he is dying to be visiting with the women-folks.
He has long been in contact with people—the world—and constant friction has rubbed out any awkwardness he may have possessed years ago. There is an agreeable ease and freedom in his manner, as there is in that of all genuine city people, and it could not well be otherwise. In his capacity of salesman in a large city retail store, he has come in contact with all classes of ladies. He don’t blush now when addressed by one of them. The sight of bright eyes and pretty ankles does not throw him into a state of flutteration, as it does our country friend. He isn’t afraid of the women much—not much. He does not class them with the angel species, to converse with whom requires great courage and moral force. He has learned by considerable unpleasant experience that a great many of the gentler sex have brisk little tempers, and some spiteful, harassing ways, and tongues that can say sharp things:—in fact, who are very much mortal, and so, not considering them either doves or angels, he experiences no trepidation in their society whatever.
Again, our city fellow, rusticating in the country,[Pg 20] and having it very much his own way with the damsels, is well dressed. His clothes are probably not of expensive material, but they are of excellent fit, and gives his person a stylish, genteel appearance.
That a person well dressed receives respect and attention that would not possibly be shown him were he poorly or slovenly clothed is a fact so familiar to all that it would be absurd to discuss it.
The matter of Dress is of so much importance as concerns the feeling of Bashfulness, that we shall consider it fully in another chapter.
Consists:—1. In cultivating Self-Esteem,—in exalting your own opinion of yourself. Being Proud.
2. Going into company;—associating with miscellaneous people.
1. Who ever knew a really proud person to be bashful and diffident? What is pride? Is it not self-esteem; self-appreciation and valuation; self-respect and reliance; nobleness, independence and dignity?
A proud-spirited person excites in us something of[Pg 21] that feeling of respect and admiration we have for a spirited, mettlesome horse.
But to possess true spirit and personal pride, we must possess points of real or imagined merit; of education, accomplishments, personal beauty, or mental, or physical superiority. How can a person of scanty information—ignorant of the world and its doings, carry a proud bearing with a high and noble spirit?
“How proud and stuck up them Brown girls are since they got home from Boston,” whispers Mrs. Smith to a neighbor, as the “Brown girls” sail into church, dressed in city style, and with something of “city airs.” They have brought home with them the same warm, generous hearts—but they are proud. Have they not some reason for being so? For two years they have been in Madame C.’s fashionable city boarding-school, and in this time they have learned several things outside their school books. Their rustic ways quickly disappeared, and they soon acquired quiet dignity of manners, and that perfect self-control we all admire. It was taught them also that the face is not the proper place for exhibiting our emotions[Pg 22] and feelings, so often to our disadvantage; and also that the “sweet, low voice” that men love so well, is much more effective than the loud, harsh tones of so many rustic maidens.
They were also trained to receive introductions from gentlemen without simpering and blushing, and also that it was possible for a gentleman to call upon them several times, and even invite them to a concert, and still have no intentions of “proposing.”
And so the Brown girls go home with their varied[Pg 23] accomplishments, and are “proud.” But it is a personal pride to be approved of, and which all who are bashful and backward should strive to acquire.
Are you ambitious? Do you aspire to better things? If you consider yourself a nobody, do you care to be somebody? Do you care to be considered an intelligent, interesting capable person? Then analyze yourself; take yourself to pieces, and see what there is really of you. We take it for granted, of course, that you are a person of ordinary common sense. Has your school education been neglected? then you must rectify this by a selected course of reading; for the first and most important step towards removing a feeling of bashfulness and inferiority, is to become well informed on general topics. We maintain that it is absurd for any intelligent person to feel awkward and bashful who is well-informed and neatly dressed.
To make up for deficiencies of education, any person determined can go through a special course of reading in a comparatively short time, that will make him or her a well informed person. The books we would particularly recommend, are:—A[Pg 24] concise Modern History; a small Ancient History; Natural Philosophy (Comstock’s High School, or any other good, well illustrated work); Youman’s New Chemistry, which you will find very interesting and highly instructive; Quackenbos’ Composition and Rhetoric. If you read carefully Kame’s Elements of Criticism you would be richly repaid in the pleasure derived, and in the gain of a rich store of valuable information. Any person who would be pre-eminently quick-witted must not fail to read Shakespeare—at least the principal plays. Shakespeare’s knowledge of the world—of the secret springs of human action—of human nature—was something wonderful. No human being has yet equalled him in this respect. But you cannot read his plays as you can a newspaper. They must be slowly read and digested like a rare dinner. The Bible perhaps excepted, no book has yet been printed that contains so great an amount of profound worldly wisdom as the works of Shakespeare. Nothing will so quickly sharpen and polish a dull and untrained intellect.
Now here are enumerated less than a dozen books, within the reach of any one capable of earning his clothes, and which, if read at least twice,[Pg 25] carefully, will make a person feel that he really knows something—had really entered the great temple of knowledge.
Of course, one should not be confined to the above. The extent of one’s intelligence and information will depend upon the extent of his reading and thinking; but the above-mentioned books, thoroughly read, will educate and elevate more than the perusal of an entire library read hastily and thoughtlessly.
The wide range of information gained by the regular perusal of a good city daily newspaper, and a first class monthly magazine is of too great value to be over-estimated. If you cannot afford a daily paper, you certainly can a semi-weekly, a large one, like the Semi-Weekly Tribune, for instance. Of the magazines, Harper’s or Scribner’s will bring you treasures of interesting knowledge in the most attractive form.
We will now suppose that you are well informed of the news and topics of the day, etc., and that you have no cause to feel diffident and reserved from a general lack of information. “But my self-esteem is small, I have a poor opinion of myself.” Well, change that opinion! Be proud; resolve to[Pg 26] walk like a MAN and a gentleman—not like an uncouth boy. Hold up your head, and throw back your shoulders. If you want a magnificent chest, and a deep, sonorous voice; practice ten minutes, night and morning, filling the lungs as full as possible through a small tube, three inches long, and with a hole the size of a quill; allow the breath to pass out slowly through the tube. To insure an easy and graceful carriage, practice walking in your room with a small bag filled with grain poised on your head. Consider yourself as good as other people, and a little better. Train yourself to act always in a quiet and dignified manner—not with vulgar “stiffness,” but with that ease and moderation of action, easily acquired, and which always shows the well-bred person. Act the gentleman or lady, and you will be one. Nothing so indicates ill-breeding as a nervous, fidgetty, restless manner. The real lady or gentleman will be composed and undisturbed under every trying circumstance. They have taught themselves self-control, and this is readily learned by those with inclination and determination to learn.
2. Go into Society.—To learn to swim you must go into the water. To overcome the feeling of[Pg 27] bashfulness, and to be at ease in company, you must go into company. On no account should you neglect this duty which you owe to yourself. Take every opportunity to attend balls, picnics, parties, sociables, etc., and always rank yourself as one of the most desirable and popular young men of the occasion, and you will undoubtedly be so. Remember the fact that others will estimate you as you estimate yourself. And here we again repeat, Do not be, or act, afraid of the girls. They won’t hurt you. Walk boldly up and make yourself agreeable. They will meet you half way. If at any time you feel a little fluttering of the heart, don’t subside into a corner with the say-nothings and do-nothings, but “circulate around,” and you will be surprised how easily you will find yourself at home and at ease, chatting with some nice people.
For removing Bashfulness, awkwardness, and all manner of similar disagreeable things, there could not possibly be a better place than the dancing-school. Young men who live away from villages, and who have but few, or no desirable associates outside the family circle, and who are distressingly awkward in speech and manner, if they can have a[Pg 28] few terms at a dancing-school, will be so improved in address, manners, and general appearance as to surprise all who know them. We are acquainted with a person, now an old man, large, heavy, clumsy, who weighed one hundred and eighty pounds the day he was sixteen, and was six feet and an inch high. He was so awkward, to use his own statement, that he could hardly get into a room where there was company without hitting both sides of the door, and could scarcely sit down without knocking over his chair, knowing not what to do with his feet, his hands, nor himself. He chanced to have an opportunity to attend a dancing-school for three months—they were very uncommon in the locality where he resided—and he was there trained in the common civilities and courtesies of society; how to enter and leave a room, how to receive introductions, how to receive and dismiss company, etc. Though he is a farmer, not much used to society, there is to-day an easy, quiet grace, and a polish of manners that would pass anywhere acceptably; and he attributes it to the brief tuition in a dancing-school.[Pg 29] While he may not remember much that he learned as a dancer, he remembers all that he learned that is necessary for performing the common courtesies of the parlor. So attend all the dances possible, and under all circumstances remember that you are a MAN and a GENTLEMAN.
Many often hesitate and become diffident from a lack of readiness in expressing their ideas, and from a fear that they do not speak correctly and elegantly. Now speaking grammatically is a mere matter of education. If lacking in this respect, the use of any good grammar, and particularly “Composition and Rhetoric,” already mentioned, with “Live and Learn;” or “1000 Mistakes Corrected,” will be all you require in this direction. “One Thousand Mistakes Corrected,” is better than half-a-dozen living teachers.
To express one’s self with fluency in conversation is an art that can be acquired by a little practice, in adopting the method of the great orator Clay, in gaining quick readiness in speech. “I owe my success in life,” said he, “chiefly to one circumstance—that at the age of twenty-seven I commenced, and continued for years the practice of daily reading and speaking upon the contents of[Pg 30] some historical or scientific book. These off-hand efforts were made sometimes in a cornfield, at others in the forest, and not unfrequently in some distant barn, with the horse and the ox for my auditors. It is to this early practice of the art of all arts, that I am indebted for my subsequent destiny.”
Reading aloud from some book, enunciating every word clearly and distinctly, with a dictionary at hand to settle instantly in your own mind any question as to the proper pronunciation of particular words, is a practice so abundantly fruitful of good results, that those who will practise it even for a short time, will scarcely be induced to relinquish it. In reading, cultivate the purely conversational tone. It is as easy to read as it is to talk, yet there are few good readers. The tone of voice, modulation, accent, etc., should be precisely as if you were in conversation, not as if you were preaching in a drawling, monotonous way. Read well and you will converse well, and both are superior accomplishments, acquired with facility; though the orator who pours forth his thoughts with such apparent ease, achieves his wonderful power only by means of patient labor, after much repetition, and, like Disraeli, often after bitter disappointments.
So take courage, young men, and if you have a difficulty to overcome, grapple with it at once; facility will come with practice, and strength and success with repeated effort. And always recollect, that the mind and character may be trained to almost perfect discipline, enabling it to move with a grace, spirit and freedom almost incomprehensible to those who have not subjected themselves to a similar training.
Take a raw recruit; he stoops, he walks in a shuffling, slouchy manner; he is painfully awkward. A few weeks under the Drill-Sergeant, and he walks forth erect, dignified, with the true soldierly bearing. Life seems but for the purpose of mere drilling. In one form or another we cannot escape it; neither should we desire to do so.
It is certainly very embarrassing and conducive of bashfulness to be thrust into a glittering room filled with people superior to one’s self in position, and equally cultured in the knowledge of what is due to the place and occasion. A sensitive, uncultured man or maiden, with rustic garb and rustic speech,[Pg 32] and little knowledge respecting correct manners, introduced at once to the presence of cultured ladies and gentlemen, does not know what to do with hands nor feet; whether to sit or to stand, or to hide. Is it to be wondered at that such a person acts and feels cheap and diminutive?
But, diffident reader, do not be discouraged, for general good breeding is very easy of attainment. You must possess simply common sense, self-possession, and a habit of observation.
The exercise of a good common sense will show you plainly enough what is right and wrong—what is proper and improper. Self-possession will prevent from doing awkward and bungling things; and by observation you will soon learn the manners of the well-bred.
“But I won’t know how to act, mother,” said a lad as he was about starting to his first party. “Keep your eyes open, and just do as the others do,” was the answer, and better advice could not have been given.
Quiet self-possession will enable a person quite unacquainted with the usages of society to conduct himself very acceptably even in the most superior company. It is the foolish feeling of timidity that[Pg 33] causes the trepidation and bashfulness, and consequent uneasy manners when in company, with the class of persons for whose benefit this book was written. Why should you be timid and backward, and show by your hesitating ways that you do not feel at ease? You surely can notice how those about you conduct themselves, and conduct yourself accordingly. Why should you not enter a room filled with company like any other well-bred person, in an easy, unconcerned manner, and addressing those about you, even those with whom you are not acquainted, without restraint, and without embarrassment? If you cannot muster sufficient spirit to do this, you had better turn travelling agent and call from house to house till you are not afraid of associating and conversing with strangers.
Yet to be well-bred without ceremony; easy without carelessness; self-possessed and dignified with modesty; polite without affectation; pleasing without servility; cheerful without being noisy; frank without indiscretion; and secret without mysteriousness; to know the proper time and place for whatever you say or do, and do it with the air of the well-bred—all this requires time and close observation. “Manners make the man.” Old, but[Pg 34] good. The power or influence of an easy, pleasing, deferential manner; of a polite, gracious and genteel address, is shown in a multitude of ways, and is acknowledged by high and low, and could not be better illustrated than by the success of great Counterfeiters, Forgers, and “Confidence men” generally. They are invariably men of the most polished and insinuating address. They listen to you with a consummate, well-bred air of interest and attention. They flatter you unconsciously, but none the less powerfully by the deep respect they apparently show to every word of your conversation; and when they address you it is as if to a person deserving of the highest consideration. And all this with such a combination of suavity, self-respect and dignity that it is most powerful to please. And these accomplished rascals have trained themselves to polished address and perfection of manners solely for the purpose of winning in their schemes with men.
Judicious flattery is incomparable as a means of pleasing. No person is proof against it, and one of its most delicate and effective forms is in showing a seeming deference to us—our conversation—opinions and advice. The ladies are particularly sus[Pg 35]ceptible to polite and urbane manners. The act of a gentleman raising his hat and bowing gracefully to a lady, is really, or seemingly, a mark of esteem and respect, and the lady is pleased, as she should be. Little attentions thoughtfully shown are certain to please, and to secure that regard the person showing them is entitled to receive.
“He is a perfect gentleman,” from a lady simply means that he has been generous in his gallant little attentions to her.
“A good listener,”—and how rare they are!—can not be otherwise than a thoughtful, sensible, and pleasing person. By his apparent deep interest in our conversation, he flatters our self-love; and whoever does that, without seeming intention, has advanced in our good opinion.
There is nothing so grossly rude, nor so little forgiven, as inattention from a person whom you are addressing. Many persons are so thoughtlessly or ignorantly rude, that while you are speaking to them, instead of looking at you with attention, they will look out of the window, into the fire, or up at the ceiling, and, it may be, speak to, or answer some other person, thus seeming to imply implicitly that the most trifling object deserves[Pg 36] their attention more than anything you may be saying. The emphatic desire in every well-ordered mind to punish such an offensively ill-bred person we consider highly commendable.
In regard to the ways and usages of society we do not propose to say anything here, as they can be readily learned by observation, or from any of the several good books on the subject, mentioned in another place.
A person may have the education of a College President, and possess the wealth of an Astor, yet let him with soiled or slouchy clothes be suddenly brought into the society of ladies and gentlemen, and he will feel and act constrained and bashful in spite of his best endeavors.
Let a well-bred, well-dressed person make a call and discover, when it is too late, that his boots are muddy, or his finger-nails not cleaned, and he will inevitably act ill at ease, and be glad when he is safe in the street again.
A mechanic going home at night in his work-day clothes, with traces of toil on hands and face, walks along with the well-dressed crowd in a subdued and[Pg 37] humble manner. The same mechanic, two hours later, thoroughly washed and shaved, and arrayed in his best holiday clothes, taking his wife to a place of amusement, perhaps, has the appearance of another man. He walks with an erect and manly air, and feels that he is a man among men.
The question of dress is one of the utmost importance. It often determines our characters and our success in life. A person meanly dressed will feel meanly and act meanly. Everybody has experienced the sudden and agreeable change in one’s feelings from merely changing from an old, poor suit of clothes to a new one. The dogs, with amazing instinct, look upon the ragged beggar with suspicion, and meet him with growls and snaps, while the well-dressed gentleman coming up the walk, is welcomed with friendly wags of the tail.
This, from Shakespeare, is sound advice. City people, including those who are in far more moderate circumstances than even the small farmers, are far better dressed than the average of country peo[Pg 38]ple. The farmer’s wife going out for an evening’s visit, or to church, “fixes up,” and makes a presentable appearance. The farmer going to town, ten miles away, shaves, puts on his best suit, and feels respectable. They are going into company—going to meet with people. On other days there seems to be little regard for personal appearance as far as dress is concerned. Now a resident of a city is always in company. He is on perpetual exhibition. He is classed as he is dressed; if like a beggar, then a beggar; if like a gentleman—a gentleman.
Now, young and diffident reader, we insist that you can never rid yourself of the bashful feeling while in company so long as you are poorly dressed. By “poorly” we do not refer to the material, only to the style and shape. A person may wear pantaloons and coat of the finest broadcloth, but if they are baggy and slouchy, will he be considered well dressed? Coarse material for coat and trousers have been popular for several years past, and a good suit of clothes can be bought at moderate cost. If you live within a reasonable distance of a city, always buy your clothes there, as you will be sure to have them in the latest style—that is, if you notice what the style is. Never select pantaloons with[Pg 39] large checks or stripes. Light brown, or dark material is the most becoming. If you are obliged to have your clothes made in the country, have them cut, if possible, by a tailor. It don’t so much matter who makes them up.
The fit of a collar adds to or mars a person’s appearance greatly. It should turn down and both ends nearly meet at the buttonhole. A small brown or black tie, with the ends tucked under the collar, or a plain, narrow silk tie, or one of small white and black checks, will be neat and becoming. A large neck-tie of a flaming color, so often worn by[Pg 40] country youths, is a prominent sign of an uncultivated taste.
The Hair, etc.—City men, young and old, are very particular about having their hair kept neatly and closely cut. Why those in the country seem to delight in shocks of long hair we never could see; and we lived in the country twenty years. Don’t do it. Cultivate personal neatness insiduously, and give an indication of it by keeping your hair neatly trimmed. Don’t let neighbor Smith do it with his sheep shears, thereby saving a shilling or two; but go to a professional barber, even if he is in the next town.
The Teeth require particular attention. Use a tooth-pick always after eating, rinsing the mouth at the same time. Scrub the teeth thoroughly morning and night with a tooth-brush rubbed on a bit of soap. There is no excuse for not doing this; a good brush will cost twenty cents, and the time occupied about six minutes a day! The feeling of purity and comfort experienced will amply recompense you for the trifling trouble. Take a hot bath as often as you can, using soap and brush freely;[Pg 41] and be certain that no disagreeable fœtid odor comes from your feet from want of cleanliness.
That you would go into the presence of ladies with soiled hands is not probable, but be careful to notice that the nails are scrupulously clean.
These various little attentions towards personal neatness and comeliness will soon become a second nature. And after you have instituted these reforms in regard to your toilet, etc., you will not fail to observe that you are treated with a much greater respect and consideration, especially by the ladies, than before. Your own estimation of yourself has greatly increased, and you find that the miserable bashful feeling formerly experienced when in the society of those you considered your superiors, no longer troubles you.
It is important for those young men who are apt to disparage themselves in comparison with their wealthy acquaintances, to bear in mind that riches and rank have no necessary connection with genuine gentlemanly qualities. The poor man may be a true gentleman in spirit and in daily life. He may be honest, truthful, polite, temperate, courageous, self-respecting, and self-helping—that is, a true[Pg 42] gentleman. The poor man with a rich spirit, is always superior to the rich man with a mean spirit.
A person who has any noticeable physical deformity, or who has been reduced by certain nervous diseases, cannot be expected to possess that buoyancy and manliness of spirit that he would were circumstances different. Persons with nerves that are naturally excitable, will greatly increase their excitability by the habitual use of strong tea, etc. As a result, they are nervous, fidgetty, and never quite at ease. When in company they easily lose their self-possession and do blundering things generally. There are certain habits known to young men that cause a person to become bashful and sheep-faced to a surprising degree.
We have no particular suggestions to offer where diffidence and bashfulness are the result of prolonged illness or disease. Every means should be taken to restore the health; and with the restoration will come the old manly and courageous spirit.
When the nerves are weak and unsteady from physical debility, great benefit will be immediately[Pg 43] derived, in the majority of cases, from the use, for two or three weeks at a time, of Iodoform, two or three grains a day—taken at meal time on a bit of moist bread.
In case the voice and lungs are weak, read aloud daily, enunciating every word clearly and distinctly. Commence by reading ten minutes at a time, and finally half an hour. You will soon acquire a richness and depth of tone to be proud of, besides greatly improving your health by increasing the capacity of the lungs.
Secresy is a characteristic of good breeding. A gentleman or lady will never tell in one company what they see or hear in another; much less divert the present company at the expense of the last. In conversation there is generally a tacit reliance that what is said will not be repeated. Tattlers are contemptable.
Whispering in company is an act of unmistakable ill-breeding. It seems to imply that neither the persons whom we do not wish should hear are unworthy our confidence, or that we are speaking improperly of them.
Incessant talkers are very disagreeable companions. Nothing can be more rude than to engross the conversation to yourself, or to take the words, as it were, out of another person’s mouth. All generally like to bear their part in a conversation, and for one to monopolize it, is a tacit acknowledgment that he considers his conversation of more[Pg 45] importance, or more interesting than that of others. Long talkers are unmitigated bores.
Giving advice unasked is an impertinence. It is, in effect, declaring ourselves wiser than those to whom we give it; reproaching them with ignorance and inexperience. It is a freedom that ought not to be taken with any common acquaintance.
It is true politeness not to interrupt a person in a story, whether you have heard it before or not.
Men repent speaking ten times, for once they repent keeping silence.
You will be reckoned by the world nearly of the same character with those whose company you keep.
If you give yourself a loose tongue in company, you may almost depend on being pulled to pieces as soon as your back is turned, however they may seem entertained with your conversation.
It is ill manners to trouble people with talking too much either of yourself or your affairs. If you are full of yourself, consider that you, and your affairs, are not so interesting to other people as to you.
Kame’s Elements of Criticism, 504 pages$1 75
Quackenbos’ Composition and Rhetoric, 454 pages1 50
Harper’s History of the United States1 50
Outlines of General History1 50
Youman’s Chemistry2 00
Comstock’s Natural Philosophy1 75
Live and Learn; or, a Guide for all who wish to Speak and Write Correctly, 216 pages75
Martine’s Hand-Book of Etiquette, and Guide to True Politeness.—A complete Manual for all those who desire to understand good breeding, the customs of good society, and to avoid incorrect and vulgar habits. Containing clear and comprehensive directions for correct manners, conversation, dress, introductions, rules for good behavior at Dinner Parties and the table, with hints on wine, and carving at the table; together with Etiquette of the Ball and Assembly Room, Evening Parties, and the usages to be observed when visiting or receiving calls; deportment in the street and when travelling. To which is added the Etiquette of Courtship and Marriage. Price50 cts.
Chesterfield’s Letter-Writer and Complete Book of Etiquette; or, Concise, Systematic Directions for arranging and Writing Letters. Also, Model Correspondence in Friendship and Business, and a great variety of Model Love Letters. This work is also a Complete Book of Etiquette. Bound in boards, with cloth back. Price35 cts.
Frost’s Laws and By-Laws of American Society.—A condensed but thorough treatise on Etiquette and its usages in America. Containing plain and reliable directions for Deportment on the following subjects:—Letters of Introduction, Salutes and Salutations, Calls, Conversations, Invitations, Dinner Company, Balls, Morning and Evening Parties, Visiting, Street Etiquette, Riding and Driving, Travelling; Etiquette in Church, Etiquette for Places of Amusement; Servants, Hotel Etiquette; Etiquette at Weddings, Baptisms, and Funerals; Etiquette with Children, and at the Card Table; Visiting-Cards, Letter-Writing, the Lady’s Toilet, the Gentleman’s Toilet; besides one hundred unclassified laws applicable to all occasions. Paper cover. Price30 cts.
The Art of Dressing Well.—This book is designed for Ladies and Gentlemen who desire to make a favorable impression upon society, and is intended to meet the requirements of any season, place, or time, to offer such suggestions as will be valuable to those just entering society; indeed, to every individual who pays attention to the important objects of economy, style, and propriety of costume. 188 pages.30 cts.
How to Write a Composition.—This original work will be found a valuable aid in writing a composition on any topic. It lays down plain directions for the division of a subject into its appropriate heads, and for arranging them in their natural order, commencing with the simplest theme and advancing progressively to the treatment of more complicated subjects. The use of this excellent hand-book will save the student the many hours of labor too often wasted in trying to write a plain composition. It affords a perfect skeleton of each subject, with its headings or divisions clearly defined, and each heading filled in with the ideas which the subject suggests; so that all the writer has to do, in order to produce a good composition, is to enlarge on them to suit his taste and inclination. Price50 cts.
Rapid Reckoning.—A system of performing arithmetical calculations with almost instantaneous quickness. This system was the key to the wonderful performances of the “Lightning Calculator,” whose exhibitions were the marvel of thousands. He sold the secret at $1 per copy. Our book is much enlarged, with many interesting additions. Any one can learn and practice.25 cts.
Impromptu Speaker.—A guide to the proper remarks to make on all ordinary occasions and the etiquette of such occasions. It not only gives forms of speeches for those who prefer to adopt them, but teaches the reader how to be prepared when called on suddenly, that he may acquit himself creditably and without discomfort.25 cts.
Frost’s School and Exhibition Dialogues.—Comprising “Frost’s Humorous Exhibition Dialogues,” and “Frost’s Dialogues for Young Folks,” combined in one volume. By getting this excellent book, the difficulty in procuring a good dialogue for a school exhibition will be entirely overcome. Bound in cloth.$1 50
Haney’s Book of Practical Receipts.—For the use of Families, Druggists, Perfumers, Confectioners, Patent Medicine Factors, and Dealers in Soaps and Fancy Articles for the Toilet. Compiled with great care from receipts now in use by the most popular houses in France and the United States. Paper cover. Price25 cts.
Cards for Courtship.—These cards may be used either by two persons, or they will make lots of fun for an evening-party of young people. There are fourteen question-cards and twenty-eight answers—forty-two in all. Each answer will respond differently to every one of the questions. Put up in handsome card cases, on which are printed directions.30 cts.
Love-Letter Cards.—We have just printed a new and novel Set of Cards which will delight the hearts of young people susceptible of the tender passion. These consist of forty-two cards—twenty-one pink or yellow, and the same number of white ones. Each white card has printed on it a love-letter to a lady, and each of the colored cards has her reply. Put up in handsome cases, on which are printed directions.30 cts.
Fortune-Telling Cards.—Solutions of uncertain and intricate questions relative to love, luck, lotteries, matrimony, business matters, journeys, and future events generally, are here given in a direct, piquant and satisfactory manner. These cards will also afford a fund of amusement in a party of young people. Each package is enclosed in a card case, on which are printed directions for using the cards. Price30 cts.
Leap-Year Cards.—To enable any lady to pop the question to the chosen one of her heart. This set of cards is intended more to make fun among young people than for any practical utility. There are twenty-one pink or yellow cards, and the same number of white ones—forty-two in all. On each of the colored cards is printed a letter from a lady to a gentleman, wherein the fair one declares her love, or pops the question in a humorously sentimental manner. The letters all differ in style, and in the mode of attack. The twenty-one answers on white cards, is where the fun comes in.30 cts.
The Laughable Adventures of Messrs. Brown, Jones and Robinson.—Showing where they went and how they went; what they did and how they did it. With nearly two hundred most thrillingly comic engravings. Price30 cts.
The Plate of Chowder; A Dish for Funny Fellows.—Appropriately illustrated with 100 Comic Engravings. By the author of “Mrs. Partington’s Carpet-Bag of Fun.” Price25 cts.
Address
SETH CONLY, Publisher.
Wonders of the Sea.—A very fascinating and instructive book. 12mo. Will be illustrated. Price 50 cts. (Preparing.)
Wonders of the Heavens: or, Astronomy made Popular.—Interesting as a Fairy story to the Young. Illustrated. 12mo. 50 cts. (Preparing.)
The Taxidermist’s Guide; or, The Art of Collecting, Preparing, Mounting, and Preserving all kinds of animals, Birds, Fishes, Reptiles, Insects, etc. It gives the best methods of preserving Birds’ Eggs; the art of arranging all kinds of Marine, Hard and Fresh Water Shells; how to breed and rear Insects, and much other valuable and interesting information, indispensable to the Naturalist, Amateur, and Traveller. Illustrated with many fine engravings. Price 30 cents. (Ready April 15.)
The Magician’s Guide; or, Conjuring made Easy.—This book is not a mere compilation of disconnected experiments, or tricks, as is usually the case with books of this kind. This work has been written by a celebrated conjuror, with the sincere desire to impart real knowledge of the mysteries of his art, and the book is indispensable to those who aim to become adepts in the Magician’s Art, or who desire to be the sought and welcome guest at evening parties, social games, and at social entertainments generally. Illustrated. Price 25 cents. (Ready March 1.)
Tricks and Diversions with Cards.—A new book, containing the latest tricks of the most celebrated conjurors, magicians, and prestigiators, popularly explained, simplified and adapted for home amusement and social entertainments. For lovers of the marvellous and ingenious, this book will be a perpetual source of enjoyment. The whole is so elucidated, that any one can, with a little practice, perform the most difficult feats to his own satisfaction, and the wonder and admiration of his friends. Fully illustrated. Price 30 cents, post paid. (Ready.)
Youman’s Dictionary of Every Day Wants.—Just out. 539 large pages. This is a great work. The amount of desirable information it contains is immense. The Index alone makes 55 long columns in small type. The book is of itself a complete Library of Reference. It is just what you have often wished for. It tells you how to do almost everything. A large 16 page circular, sent free on application, will give such information in regard to this most useful book, that you will desire to obtain it without delay. Write for the circular. Agents wanted, to whom great inducements are offered.
Address
SETH CONLY, Publisher
Transcriber's notes:
The following is a list of changes made to the original. The first line is the original line, the second the corrected one.
Page 10:
Although a good many screaching females in these Women's Rights,
Although a good many screeching females in these Women's Rights,
Page 11:
men who with shut jaws, gleaming eyes, and fixed byonets
men who with shut jaws, gleaming eyes, and fixed bayonets
Page 28:
though he is a farmer, not much used to society, there is to-day
Though he is a farmer, not much used to society, there is to-day
Page 46:
Salutes and Salutations, Calls, Conversations, Invtations,
Salutes and Salutations, Calls, Conversations, Invitations,
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Bashfulness Cured, by Anonymous
*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BASHFULNESS CURED ***
***** This file should be named 43755-h.htm or 43755-h.zip *****
This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
http://www.gutenberg.org/4/3/7/5/43755/
Produced by Paul Clark and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
produced from images generously made available by The
Internet Archive)
Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
will be renamed.
Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules,
set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project
Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you
do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is
subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
redistribution.
*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at
www.gutenberg.org/license.
Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic works
1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be
used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works. See paragraph 1.E below.
1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the
collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an
individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in
a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check
the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning
the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
States.
1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
copied or distributed:
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
1.E.9.
1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked
to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
Gutenberg-tm License.
1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or
distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
that
- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is
owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments
must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License. You must require such a user to return or
destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
Project Gutenberg-tm works.
- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
of receipt of the work.
- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the
Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
1.F.
1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
your equipment.
1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
DAMAGE.
1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with
the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy
is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
opportunities to fix the problem.
1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER
WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any
provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists
because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
people in all walks of life.
Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org
Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
Foundation
The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at 809
North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email
contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the
Foundation's web site and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact
For additional contact information:
Dr. Gregory B. Newby
Chief Executive and Director
gbnewby@pglaf.org
Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation
Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
status with the IRS.
The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To
SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate
While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
approach us with offers to donate.
International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate
Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.
Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project
Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily
keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
www.gutenberg.org
This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.